A new autumn sweater

We stroll into March so casually like the beginning of the new year was just a southerly wind express train blowing our hair back as it speeds and rattles past while we stand looking at the timetable and figuring out our path to our next destination.

I’m edging out of the shadows of my last life season dusty and exhausted and still so deep in grief from a string of events that felt so out of my control but also felt like an inevitable journey I had to take. I’ve hit the bitumen again after taking an 18-month detour bush-bashing that started with finishing my painting ‘Liminal’ with such joy and accomplishment and then receiving the devastating, tragic and disbelieving news of my dad passing while he was in the water surfing. More family losses followed, as well as bullying and blackmail in my professional world, living through an increasingly problematic fdv relationship, a diagnosis and major surgery and finally divorce.

The shame I held for so much of this time - my body absolutely shut down and in hopeful denial I was wondering, disguised as self-berating why I couldn’t create what my heart was calling to. I backed off the accelerator and decided to just cruise gently choosing to only do and take on what I truly could. I can feel my pace changing as my life force returns to my body although I know I’m not out of the woods yet as I’m still trying to create a safe space to both live and nourish my children and release my creativity.

But the buds of a new season blossom, with my work ‘Liminal’ at the Collie Art Prize opening tonight; more work in Noongar country this month; a new book to illustrate and a few community projects in the pipeline. It’s been a juggle but when you are mum and you have kids you better learn how to juggle and fast, with flair, humour and grace. I realise this path of motherhood, artistry and building a good spiritual life is not a linear one but a beautiful, sometimes overgrown path through valleys and hills and in streams and around wetlands, but the path has to be a safe enough path when you have your children in tow and you can only go as fast as your littlest human. Going with the flow and having good discernment are two sides of the same coin. But it doesn’t mean you can’t reach your destination. Any foward motion is a success and also it does feel good to be dipping my toes back into my art world again and keep working with the community.

We are in second summer, Bunuru here on my country, where there is an abundance of life and warmth in the day and the nights are now bringing cool reprieve of the harsh heat, a perfect time for working hard and creating a new autumn sweater. Djeran (autumn), my favourite season, notoriously known for being a time when the wind finally drops here and there is stillness in the air is just around the corner. I look forward to a season a calmer seas and dreamy evenings as I keeping wandering this road through the seasons and making a good life as I go.