This is my dad

This is my dad.

I love him deeply.

I have tried over and over to post something about my world right now, and haven't been able to, not because the lack of words (we all know that I can talk!) but because everytime you say it, your current reality becomes more clear. Last Tuesday mine distorted into a new form. The wheel has turned as it always does and my dad was here and then he wasn't. I have been in this place before, losing people close to my heart, and time after time the grief plays out the same and you learn more about yourself and life and how precious this human life experience is. But I entered a new realm this week. One where the grief swells from the very cells of my being. Can I just type fuck on repeat?!

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

FUCK 

FUUUUCCCKKKKK

What a blessing this life is. What a treasure my dad was. What a gift to have his beautiful, cheeky, resilient spirit inside of me. True fucking legend. I miss him.